you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
