What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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