i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Couch. On fire.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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