I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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