i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
