Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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