my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
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I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
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As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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