So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
