don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
