So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize