Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
