those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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