I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
