Slut skills are useful in every country.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
