I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
