saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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