weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
