K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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