my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
