I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
