i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
