I just saw a hot homeless man
it was like eating out sand paper
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
