My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
