I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
