Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
