1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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