I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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