Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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