She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
