What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
