i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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