I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
third nipple confirmed
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
