guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
