he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize