Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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