that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
