Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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