Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize