I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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