i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
