i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
