..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
