I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
