Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
