I CAN MOONWALK!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
