Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There are leaves in my underwear?
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