u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
