you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
