I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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