Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
