need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
