Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You smell like stripper and shame
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
