That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
