As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
