God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
