She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
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It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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