porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
