If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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