they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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