that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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