Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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