ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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