Nicole vs. Life
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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