I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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