We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
