and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
A+ Viking dick
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
