took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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